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BY CHRIS DAVIS |
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ASSOCIATED PRESS |
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NORTH POLE - Due to the increasing population of
the world, it has been reported that Santa Claus (AKA Kris Kringle) cannot
keep up with the many furniture wishes he has received this year.
Santa tells reporters in his yearly press
conference that, along with population growth, many other factors have contributed
to the problem. The popularity of a baseball bed, murphy beds, and a
Princess Castle Loft
have made his schedule very demanding. Also complicating matters, many of his key Elves are retiring this year. The ELU (Elves
Labor Union) has set a mandatory retirement age of 456 years of age.
ELU spokeself said Tuesday that
"when our workers reach 456 of age, their eyesight starts failing. We would
like to maintain the highest quality possible."
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Never fear! Santa does have a solution. He has talked
to some of the finest business minds in the world: Donald Trump,
Bill Gates, and Chris Davis - just to mention a few. Together, they came up with
a solution that will save Christmas this year.
After talking to some of the most successful
businesses around, Santa's Workshop Inc. has decided to outsource some of
its
larger pieces. At first the ELU was not in agreement with this
action. They feared their "high quality standard" would not be
followed by others. However, after learning the company was Poggy's Kids
Furniture Gallery and that the owner, Gary, agreed to let an elf check all outgoing
furniture, the ELU could not argue any longer.
Owner, Gary Davis, would like to remind everybody that you need to get you
wish list in early. It could take up to 5 weeks to build your
furniture, depending on how many orders are received. So order early,
and order often! |
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